” Who do you become when things don’t go your way ?”
I find this question quite powerful and thought provoking , giving me great insight into what in my life i need to focus on. Through our life experiences we will all have a different story and respond differently , if the answer to this question gives you an insight into an area of your life that you would like to work on or improve then read on!
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”
How we respond to difficult situations is a choice. We can choose to react with emotional / behavioural negativity (i.e. anger, frustration, overwhelming sadness, giving up, a feeling of unjustness with the world , stubbornness, using rituals as a coping mechanism etc) , or other forms of more physical negativity (i.e lashing out, using drugs , alcohol or using any other negative habit or ritual as a coping mechanism )
These days , I try to chose to respond to it holistically, by surrendering to the universe and by letting go of control and trusting what the universe brings to me.
I am not saying this is always easy , or that i always get it right. However my awareness is always here and my awareness brings with it the fabulous insight that it is ALWAYS my actions that are my choice.
When things don’t go my way, or something difficult or unexpected shows up in my life, i try to take a step back, this allows me to have a clearer viewpoint of the whole picture, and decide how i would like to respond to the situation.
Some of the tools and awareness that have helped me overcome difficult challenges and experiences within my own life are listed here…….i hope you find them insightful and helpful. I like to have these things written down in a journal , as when things do not go my way i then have a “go to” place which allows me to think and feel differently about the situation or experience.
Be CURIOUS , when you conclude something you are making a judgement about how it will end….therefore you are limiting your options. When you keep yourself in the questioning of the situation then you keep your perspective and therefore options open to potentials and possibilities.
Be BRAVE, it can be quite frightening and overwhelming when things do not go your way. Remember this is a phase of your life, not your whole life. Remind yourself that you have had other situations in your life that felt like there was no way out, no solution etc. ….and you survived it then. Ride those initial feelings out and you will find a way forward , a plan or a solution.
Be OPEN to things being different to how you expected and to new experiences. It serves no purpose to hold on to past , what could have been, should have been, and comparisons etc because it can make us feel bitter , unhappy and resentful. Accept the situation for what it is , let go of judgement , whys etc and accept yourself. We are all doing the best we can.
Be KIND to yourself. Accept your feelings, its ok not to feel ok or to feel angry etc. We need to experience a full range of emotions. Its healthy and you are being honest and true to yourself. Even though the situation or life hasn’t turned out the way you had planned, it doesn’t mean you failed. Stop judging yourself. Forgive yourself if you need to , TO HELP YOU MOVE FORWARD.
Be in your HEART not in your head. Make decisions and take actions from the heart not the head. The head tries to rationalise and make sense of what “should” happen the heart feels what is right. It may not be logical at all but when you take action from the heart your intuition is working and it is exceptionally powerful. When i work from my heart i am ALWAYS guided on the right path. When things are not going my way and i reflect i am ALWAYS in my head and not in my heart.
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