Hi All,
Welcome back to our blog. Creating Healthy Boundaries.
Often we don’t think about this in a preventative or healthy way.
Often we only create boundaries when we have been pushed to the edge (and then over the edge )of what is acceptable, manageable or sustainable for us.
If you are a people pleaser, a fixer, or the one that everyone relies upon for everything then read on!
Myself am writing this from becoming unwell.
I have had to learn boundaries by forcing difficult decisions to be made .
What a great reflective tool this has been , how fortunate for me .
Creating Healthy Boundaries
Some of the gifts i have learned along the way ;
- Most people will have great capacity for compassion and understanding – as long as it isn’t affecting them .
Let go the people who are not prepared to love you for who YOU need to be (not how they need you to be).
- Can you be accepted if you apply self care, have any need to adapt your self, or grow ? Or …. Are others manipulating you with their own attachments and self cherishing ?
- Are you spending much precious energy with others who have no interest in your presence ?
If they are not engaging in you (just themselves), they are talking on the phone or social media during your meet up , if you are cancelled on repeatedly then this is all a big wake up message that they don’t value you as much as you need to be valued.
Stagnant relationships steal your time, energy, and finally impact on your health.
- Have you become a verbal punchbag, ranting space which allows others to keep going over the same ground , the same problems ? Don’t waste your precious energy having conversations with people who don’t want change .
- Do you have a rooted fear that if you stop making all the effort then relationship will end?
If the only thing that keeps you connected is YOU then you need to face the truth. The only thing holding it back was the energy that only you gave to keep it.
This is not love, it’s your fear based attachment.
Creating Healthy Boundaries
When you begin to embrace a life where you live in your true essence then not everyone will be ready to follow you in this place.
This doesn’t mean you need to change, it means you should let go of the people who aren’t ready to accompany you.
We each are given the same 24 hours in each day, no more no less.
The most valuable thing you have in your life is your time and energy, and both are limited. When you give your time and energy, it will define your existence.
When you gain the realisations of this, you begin to understand why you are so anxious when you spend time with people, in activities, or situations that don’t suit you and shouldn’t be around you, your energy is stolen.
You are not responsible for making anyone else happy , this is their attachment. You are not responsible for saving anyone, that is your attachment.
Decide that you deserve truth within your life. Create the healthy boundaries that you deserve.
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